Tag Archives: Warhammer

An Ogre’s Tale: Part I

Journal of the ogre tyrant Morag the Hungry
As recorded by Kresh, his faithful gnoblar scribe and joke-teller

Today the butchers smelled an unusual scent wafting on the air. They said it would be good eating. Boss agreed so we marched after it with his buds.

We found a lot of scary-looking thinlings in lots of metal armor. Some rode horses. One rode a dragon! He seemed to be thier leader. If I had a dragon, I’d be a leader, too.

We met them in battle, and at first the leadbelchers did quite well, making grand noise and knocking several bare-chested thinlings off thier horses. 2 of the ogres got lost in some woods though. They didn’t show thier faces until later. I could still smell them though so they must not have wandered far.

Then the horsemen all charged, and so did the dragon. Some of the ogres tried to get away, but it didn’t work. Dragons must really like ogre meat the way it ate one of the leadbelchers. The big scary armored knights though, they met Muscles the Butcher and his boys. They had a right good fight there, and a couple of the boys went down (good eatin’ later!) but they held them scary men up for a long time.

Then the dragon came in behind the boss’s bunch and tried to breath all over them. It smelled pretty bad, but not worse then some of Muscles’s gas so the boys were ok. I think them other gnoblars hanging around the boss’s legs got sick from it though, ’cause they never tried to hit anything after that.

Boss must not have noticed the dragon’s breath because he just charged on after a bunch of armored men with a biiiiig banner that hurt my eyes. They whomped em good when they charged in. And the Boss, he got to that banner man, squished him up good, then tossed him into that aweful maw on his belly. Smished up scary man reminded me of last gnoblar that got under boss’s foot. Not pretty sight.

Then dragon sneak up behind boss’s gang and start eating his iron gut guards. Good thing Grinder the Butcher had worked his mojo, becuase one of the boys got his gut almost ripped off, but it grew back and then he swung up with his big stick and knocked the scary smelly pussy man off the dragon. Too bad the banner bruiser get willies and run. Other ogres think he know where more food was, but he didn’t. He just lose nerve. Boss find out later, eat him, give banner to iron gut that knock off pussy-man. Now he’s new bruiser.

That’s about when the gorgers started showing up and eating thinlings. Some leadbelchers decided to get some thinling meat before gorgers ate it all, and between them they kill or scare away whole lot of men with not much armor on them. Ogres always like meal with more meat anyway. Iron not taste as good. They still fill men’s banner with lots of meat before heading home.

Muscles and his loud friend finish killing scary armored men on horses and decide it good time to head back towards camp, taking banner with them for new apron.

By then though, fight was over and everyone head back to camp to cook dinner.

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The Ogre Kingdoms are Coming…

So I finally broke down and got a hankering for square-basing. I had dabbled in Warhammer Fantasy Battles before using the cheap dwarf models from the Skull Pass set. Alas they just didn’t do it for me and I wound up setting the game aside for quite some time. With all the sci-fi I’ve got going on now (3 RPg campaigns, 40K, EVE, watching SG-1 and Galactica…) I really felt the need to cleanse the palate with some good old fashioned fantasy mayhem.

Now, there’s a few things I didn’t like much about WHFB the first time we met. I didn’t enjoy the big blocks of unwieldly infantry for starters. Playing dwarfs made this dramatically worse with thier pitiful move allotment. For you WHFB players out there, imagine being used to everything in your army being M6 skirmishers all the time, then adjust to just blocks that don’t want to move. So I wanted an army with at least a decent bit of speed to it so I could feel like it actually moved on the battlefield instead of crawled.

After spending a good deal of time painting and still never quite finishing off a complete 40k army, the thought of building and painting those blocks of infantry is depressing. Multiple units with 15-20+ guys each and every model virtually identical in every way. I’d have to paint 150-300 models to complete an army. That sucks at my rate of model painting. So I wanted an army that had as few models as possible while still being viable and fun.

Beyond that I was pretty open. It needn’t be a beginner’s army. It could be good at shooting or stink; good at magic or not. In the end, I settled on the Ogre Kingdoms. For my first 2000 point army I’ll only need to build and paint a scant 25 models. Each one is larger then most I’ve done so I’ll get to enjoy painting on a somewhat larger scale, and I can put some more effort into them. It’s also feasible to convert most ogre units from the plastic kits in the battallion box set, which is a big draw to a customization nut like myself. So, I ordered up my fist half of the army and some new paints to flesh out my vallejo range for use on ogres. They should be arriving later this week 🙂

What’s more, I’ve signed up to play the part of some raiders that wander around the map in a new campaign in town. So I should be seeing some action fairly soon with them. As I get the army converted, built, painted and played, I’ll be keeping you up to date on how the venture pans out. Personally, I’m really looking forward to this 🙂

Warhammer 40K: Basic Army Building Theory

When you’re building an all-comers army (one meant to fight a variety of random opponents), there are a few things to consider, reconsider, and tweak a few times as you go for it. Of course, it’s good to have a reasonably solid idea of what you want to field before you get into an army just so you’re not wasting a lot of money buying models you’ll never use. So here’s a few things to consider when making your Army of Awesomeness. Break out that codex and flip through the pages, because we’re goin’ to war! (You did already get the codex… Right?)

What models do you think you’d like to build / paint?

Yes, that’s the first consideration when picking an army to build. In my experience 95% of stuff can be made useful if you learn how to work it on the battlefield. So the first thing is what catches your eye to begin with. If you get an army you think will “pwn” the enemy, but can’t stand the models, you’re not likely to have nearly as much fun even if you might win a little more often. This is a hobby, and it’s ultimate goal is fun, so start with the models you like. It’ll also help you stay motivated to build and paint the entire army in a timely fashion, and playing with painted armies really does add to the miniature war game experience.

Decide what your main focus will be.

Close combat, or ranged? Mobility? Endurance? For example, if you want a fast-moving army to outmaneuver your foes, you won’t likely want to get a heavy weapon unit that can’t move and fire if you have another unit available that can field the big guns while on the move. Find the units that fit your desired theme and try to exclude extra models that just don’t really fit in. Don’t worry too much though, you can still work some back in if you find a weak spot in your army’s capabilities.

Make sure you have at least 1 unit in the army to handle each type of enemy.

You need something that can take out high armor vehicles. Something to mow down hordes of infantry. Something to take out that uber elite Terminator squad or equivalent. Something to deal with enemy psychers if you’ve got it. They could do it at range or in melee, it could be a trooper or a tank, it doesn’t matter how you do it, just make sure you’ve got something to deal with it.

Ok, now we have Plan A covered. Too bad it never survives contact with the enemy. Time for Plan B.

Try to get 1 or 2 more units that can take over the job of dealing with an enemy if the specialist unit gets toasted. For instance, if your anti-tank squad gets pasted, give your close combat squads something short-range or even melee based with enough strength to take out a tank. The backup unit needn’t be as good as the specialist unit, just good enough to get the job done in a pinch. Space Marines of all types excel at this sort of redundancy. Other armies like Eldar tend to be more specialty-focused, but you can still find a few creative ways to deal the enemy. And if you can’t, then you know ahead of time to be extra careful with the one unit you have without back-ups.

Spiffy, we’ve got all the bases covered for turning the enemy into little pieces of burnt toast! But what about the mission?

In 5th edition 40K, the mission is vital to winning the game. So you’ll need to make sure you have units that can get the job done. Mostly this means having a few solid troop-slot non-vehicle units, as they’re the only ones that can claim objectives. Once you’ve got some guys that can sit on an objective and make themselves right annoying to get rid of, you’ve got 2/3rds of the missions covered. That just leaves the last 1/3rd, which is based on just killing the enemy. For the most part we’ve already got that covered. Just go back and tally up how many kill points an enemy could make off your army. Find anything that dies easily and see if you can toughen it up a little or deploy it so that it isn’t likely to eat too much unfriendly fire. If you can consolidate a few units without causing many problems with our previous topics, that will also help lower your opponent’s opportunities for earning kill points off you.
That’s nice, can we wrap it up now? I’ve got xeno scum to crush beneath my heel.

In the end, you’ll go through a few refinements of your list. Before you go buying your most expensive models for the forces you’ve got your little heart set on, try to find an opponent who will let you proxy them first. That way if you find you just really don’t like how something works in your army, you’ve not spent a huge chunk of money and time to buy, build, and paint something you don’t enjoy conquering miniature kingdoms with.


Now, go get your army ready to unleash your righteous wrath upon the universe!  who knows, I may even get to meet you  on the field of battle myself someday.