Journal of the ogre tyrant Morag the Hungry
As recorded by Kresh, his faithful gnoblar scribe and joke-teller
Today the butchers smelled an unusual scent wafting on the air. They said it would be good eating. Boss agreed so we marched after it with his buds.
We found a lot of scary-looking thinlings in lots of metal armor. Some rode horses. One rode a dragon! He seemed to be thier leader. If I had a dragon, I’d be a leader, too.
We met them in battle, and at first the leadbelchers did quite well, making grand noise and knocking several bare-chested thinlings off thier horses. 2 of the ogres got lost in some woods though. They didn’t show thier faces until later. I could still smell them though so they must not have wandered far.
Then the horsemen all charged, and so did the dragon. Some of the ogres tried to get away, but it didn’t work. Dragons must really like ogre meat the way it ate one of the leadbelchers. The big scary armored knights though, they met Muscles the Butcher and his boys. They had a right good fight there, and a couple of the boys went down (good eatin’ later!) but they held them scary men up for a long time.
Then the dragon came in behind the boss’s bunch and tried to breath all over them. It smelled pretty bad, but not worse then some of Muscles’s gas so the boys were ok. I think them other gnoblars hanging around the boss’s legs got sick from it though, ’cause they never tried to hit anything after that.
Boss must not have noticed the dragon’s breath because he just charged on after a bunch of armored men with a biiiiig banner that hurt my eyes. They whomped em good when they charged in. And the Boss, he got to that banner man, squished him up good, then tossed him into that aweful maw on his belly. Smished up scary man reminded me of last gnoblar that got under boss’s foot. Not pretty sight.
Then dragon sneak up behind boss’s gang and start eating his iron gut guards. Good thing Grinder the Butcher had worked his mojo, becuase one of the boys got his gut almost ripped off, but it grew back and then he swung up with his big stick and knocked the scary smelly pussy man off the dragon. Too bad the banner bruiser get willies and run. Other ogres think he know where more food was, but he didn’t. He just lose nerve. Boss find out later, eat him, give banner to iron gut that knock off pussy-man. Now he’s new bruiser.
That’s about when the gorgers started showing up and eating thinlings. Some leadbelchers decided to get some thinling meat before gorgers ate it all, and between them they kill or scare away whole lot of men with not much armor on them. Ogres always like meal with more meat anyway. Iron not taste as good. They still fill men’s banner with lots of meat before heading home.
Muscles and his loud friend finish killing scary armored men on horses and decide it good time to head back towards camp, taking banner with them for new apron.
By then though, fight was over and everyone head back to camp to cook dinner.